Dana's Touge Sermons

The meak shall inherit the Earth but the fast will thrive on the touge...


please continue in like fashion. a phrase that is of religious origin but spin it to include touge or something homologous.

Thou shalt not cross the double yellow lines

blessed are they who touge, for they shall inherit the curves

nice!

And I pray, that you being rooted and established in the Touge, have Horsepower, as well as proper brake technique, embrace the sharp, long, deep, curves of the mountain. And to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to all measure of the drive.

haha^^ good

woooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

he is the priest after all

"And Saint Attila raised the touge up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy touge, that with it thou mayst blow the doors off thine enemies, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu... "

"skip a bit brother"

"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou drive on the Holy Touge. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then drivest thou thy Holy Touge of Antioch faster than thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall wrecketh."

"Amen"

hilarious

monty python is always good for a laugh

e nomuken-patre e tire esquealum..amen

TougeTuned wrote:

e nomuken-patre e tire esquealum..amen

let me get that for you. obviously not a catholic or a Boondock Saints fan


Nomine Patris, Filii, et Spiritus Sancti is correct Latin for: in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit.


so you would say nomine patris, filii, et tire esqueelum

BC2003UGA wrote:

TougeTuned wrote:

e nomuken-patre e tire esquealum..amen

let me get that for you. obviously not a catholic or a Boondock Saints fan


Nomine Patris, Filii, et Spiritus Sancti is correct Latin for: in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit.


so you would say nomine patris, filii, et tire esqueelum

i am a cathloic and a internet certified reverand thank you

you obviously missed the nomuken referencet... did mean to offend teh religous..lol

haha, gotcha.

BC2003UGA wrote:

haha, gotcha.

"... and on the eighth day, He created the limited slip differential, and saw that it was good."

---------------

"And let me ask you now, brothas and sistas ... will we drive slowly?!?"
"Oh Lord no we will not!"
"And will we fall victim to the treacherous valleys and switchbacks that the Lord has set before us?!?"
"Oh no! Praise Jesus!"
"And when we reach the summit of this great mountain, our tires will not fail my brothas! Our brakes will not fade!! The rain and hail shall not slow us sista! We will rise to the top unobstructed! And ... my brothas and sistas ... we will descend with such with such a thunderous force that Hell shall tremble in our presence!! We will not fear the tarmac as the Lord bends it to his will!"
"Oh yes Lord!"
"Can I get an AMEN?!?"
"Amen brotha Matthew!"

lol this is a very old running joke between me and the other moderators of drift411

im just gonna copy and paste since im sure you dont want to reg just to read it

from drift411 "church of drift" qoutes

"Then God clipped the apex and saw it was GOOD."

Book of Nissan
Chapter 1
1And so on the 1st day of the Shabbat of Dori in the ides of June, Keiichi did say unto his followers:

Verily does thy go forth unto thine world to spread the word of the Sideways. Love thy chaser in tandem as thy chaser doth love thee. Partake in marriment and drink thy sacrificial vodka whilst meditating in the smells of thine deceased tires.


2And so the deciples of drift did leave that place and find refuge in the basements of their upbringers as rest for the 2nd and final day of Dori Shabbat.
3On the final day of Dori Shabbat, the seed doth run. Katsuhiro begat Nomuken, Nomuken begat Tanaguchi, Tanaguchi begat Imamura. Keiichi the saint and patron of Dori-Dori gave praise to the almighty tire and made blessings upon his learned.
4And there was much rejoicing.


In Nomuken patre... et tire-us squeel-um.... Amen. *makes curvy holy hand gesture*

Now please turn to the Pamphlet of Honda .

Honda
1The King of Saints in Dori-Dori did look upon thine unholy assdraggers of Satan and said unto the world,

WTF?


Saint Mario Andretti, we pray to you. May our shifts be precise and our pedal usage liberal, vigilant, and worthy of thy praise. The axels and transmissions of our enemies shall shatter under mention of thy name in all your glory.

Amen"

haha ok i got it. good stuff

god loves us all eqaully, you sir in the awd turbo look over to your neighbor in the rwd N/A and repeat after me.

God bless the touge!!!!


you guys are too funny.

4Touge shall only have 1 token black man



















RoMe be thy name!

Amen

tereance isn't on here enough to contest that

um bobby?

ha, oh yeah.

guess that goes along with being the token black guy, you get forgot about

oh s***